Home
by Jessie611
Summary: Chloe struggles with her guilt after Audrey's death


Chloe sighed as she felt the cold breeze brush against her body. She wondered, not for the first time what had prompted her to leave the warmth of LA for the cold, grey winter of New York. She walked, her head bent against the wind. Central Park was almost deserted, but then again the sun was only just rising in the grey sky.

Chloe had been awake most of the night; she hadn't slept for weeks; not since the day she'd left CTU. Actually, she hadn't so much left CTU as run away. She couldn't bear to stay there knowing that she'd let everyone down. She'd been responsible for bringing her ex-husband back in and he'd allowed himself to be blackmailed by a group of terrorists. They had spent a day fighting a war that had culminated in a nuclear explosion and it all could have been prevented if only she'd left Morris in Beverly Hills selling women's shoes.

Her mind drifted back to that day where she found Morris trying to escape from CTU. He'd held a gun to her, telling her that he loved her, that he wanted her to go with him. But he'd known that she wouldn't, he'd also known that she wouldn't stop until she found him. She knew he was going to kill her and she'd just stood there waiting for it to happen. She recalled her surprise when the shot rang out, only to see Morris fall to the floor. It took her a while to realise that someone was behind her. She'd turned to see Audrey standing there, trembling slightly, the hand holding the gun wavering.

Chloe had slowly moved towards her and taken the gun from her hand. Before she'd had a chance to go to Morris, to see if he was dead another shot had sounded. This time it was Audrey's turn to collapse. Chloe had tried to catch her but the other woman was taller than Chloe so it was all she could do to help break her fall. Chloe had stumbled and by the time she'd righted herself and leaned over Audrey, it was obvious that she was dead. Chloe had felt rage fill her very being as she realised that through the final selfish act of her former husband Jack had now lost the woman he loved.

Chloe had been unable to hide the anger in her expression as she turned to Morris, now back on his feet with only a bullet graze to his shoulder. He hesitated before aiming the gun at her, his expression full of sorrow for having to do this to her. The moments hesitation was all Chloe had needed before she aimed then fired a bullet that hit him between the eyes.

Chloe had collapsed between the two bodies, her face in her hands as she sobbed. When Bill Buchanan found her he thought she was crying for Morris, but she wasn't. She was crying for Jack and for what he had lost.

Ten minutes later she was being escorted along the corridor just as Jack was running down it. He'd just been told what had happened and she saw the pain and anger in his expression as he rushed to see for himself if it was true. She knew that he had lost his wife in almost the same exact spot many years before and she hated herself for her part in doing this to him again.

The next time she had seen him was at Audrey's funeral. She'd stood alone, some distance from the other mourners. At one point he'd looked over at her and in her mind she'd shrank away from the anger in his expression. She'd left a moment before the others, not caring that her sudden departure may seem disrespectful. The truth was she couldn't bear to watch him any longer, her guilt almost overwhelming.

She'd been standing by her car, her hand trembling as she tried to activate the automatic lock. She'd frozen in shock at the sound of his voice behind her.

"Why did he do it Chloe?" he asked, anger clear in his voice.

She turned to face him "I . . . I don't know Jack. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he bit out harshly, stepping closer to her. "Why did you bring him back? You knew what he was like; you knew he was careless, that he was only interested in himself. You knew the risk."

"I was lonely" she said, her head down and unable to look at him.

She felt him move against her, pushing her back against the car, forcing her head up so she had to look at him. He laughed harshly.

"Lonely Chloe? You were lonely? Let me tell you what it's like to be lonely".

His hand reached for her throat when she again looked away from him, he exerted just enough pressure to hold her there, to make her nervous.

"I will never forgive you for what you did Chloe. Do you hear me? Never."

"Let her go Jack" Bill shouted, his tone unwavering.

Jack hesitated a second before taking his hand from her and moving away. Karen rushed to Chloe's side as she fell to her knees on the gravel. Karen was uttering words of reassurance but Chloe just stared blindly ahead in shock. She heard Bill shouting at Jack,

"For god's sake Jack. None of this is Chloe's fault. She shot Morris, you know that. What more do you want from her?"

"Nothing" Jack said, his voice now controlled, "I want nothing more from her" he said before walking away.

Eventually with the help of Bill and Karen, Chloe had stood shakily to her feet and shrugging off their offers of help she'd gotten in her car and drove away. And she hadn't stopped; she kept on driving through the night, not caring where she went or what she did. She just had to get away.

00000

The man stood in the shadows of the low hanging tree and watched the woman pull her coat around her body. He saw her shiver but still she kept walking further into the park. This was her usual routine, he'd been watching her for days, trying to summon the courage to go to her.

She was thinner than he remembered and by the look of her she'd been neither eating nor sleeping. It had taken him a few weeks to realise what he'd done. He'd wallowed in his own grief, going through the motions of life while wishing he was dead. The only thing stopping him from ending it was some benign hope that he might one day see his daughter again. She had been the only thing standing between him and death for those first few weeks.

But now that he was coming out of it a little, the other thing standing in his way was the overpowering guilt he felt over the way he'd treated his best friend. The one person he'd grown to trust, the one person he'd been able to turn to no matter what the problem was. It had taken a few days for him to find her. He'd found out that everyone else had been looking for her for weeks. She'd disappeared the day of Audrey's funeral and no-one had heard from her.

He stepped out from the shadows, deciding that today was the day he had to talk to her. He walked behind her, quickening his step so that he would catch up with her.

00000

Chloe heard the footsteps behind her. She wondered if she was about to get mugged, but deciding she didn't really care she carried on at her own pace with her head bent against the winter winds.

"Chloe?"

She stopped at the sound of his voice; she just stood there unmoving for a moment.

"Chloe, look at me."

She did as he asked but the tears clouding her vision made it hard for her to focus. He walked towards her and stopped just in front of her. Her head was still bent; she was still unable to look directly at him.

His hand moved to tuck the hair behind her ear but she flinched at his touch. His fingers moved to lift her chin, the tears coursing down her cheeks evidence of how tortured she was.

"I'm sorry I hurt you" he said slowly.

She tried to blink away her tears but to no avail, they just kept falling. She hadn't cried since that day and she knew that she would have trouble stopping.

"I deserved it" she said unable to hide the tremble in her voice.

"No, no you didn't Chloe" he said, pulling her towards him and burying his face in her hair.

Chloe bit her lip in an attempt to stem the torrent of emotion that was falling from her. She wanted to be strong but she sagged against him, breathing in the familiar scent of him. Eventually he pulled back when her tears stopped.

Chloe felt the rush of cold air from the absence of his warm body against hers. She looked at him properly for the first time and saw that he looked the same and for the first time in a long time he was actually smiling. She felt hope flare inside of her, believing that maybe everything would finally be okay.

"Come on" he said, his arm reaching around her shoulders and tucking her into his side. Chloe fell into step beside him.

"Where are we going?"

"Home Chloe, we're going home" he said after a moments pause.

"I don't think I know where that is anymore" she said with a sigh.

He stopped suddenly and pulled her head against his shoulder, his lips brushing against her brow.

"I'll help you find it Chloe, I promise."


End file.
